Chapter 1: Understanding Time in Waiting

It’s a hectic morning. I’ve squeezed in a dental appointment at 8:30 AM, hoping to catch up on work later in the day. This visit should be quick, taking no more than an hour, so all I need to do is wait for my turn.

Not a problem—my tablet is ready, and I’m already going through daily reports. However, most people around me are blankly staring at the wall or their phones. One person is laughing at a TikTok video—why do we seem so eager to squander time? Do we all perceive time in the same way?

As my dentist continues her work, I find myself reflecting on how we experience time. Can a specific duration feel different to each of us? If so, what accounts for this difference?

“Time is elastic in our personal experience of it.”

• Carlo Rovelli

Generational differences shape our views on time. My grandmother often told us to expect her in the afternoon; she wasn’t an early riser. When she planned to visit, it was always “after lunch.” Oddly, I never thought much of it. Now, decades later, I can’t help but wonder about the simplicity of that time. Back then, worries seemed to revolve only around train schedules.

A similar reflection arises regarding work. During my time in southern Spain working with supply chains, delays were often met with the assurance that things would be resolved after the siesta. Meanwhile, I’d find myself in the office at 9 PM, still waiting for solutions.

I’ve come to realize that while time is a universal measure, our personal perception of it can vary significantly. This perception is fluid, influenced by cultural backgrounds, professional experiences, and even age. If our understanding of time differs, does that imply that our evaluation of how we spend it also varies?

Some people strive to maximize every second. I am one of those who likes to extract value from what some may consider wasted time. We often find ourselves waiting—whether for a bus, a meeting, or a late colleague. Many appointments, including visits to the doctor or stylist, involve waiting. There are plenty of productive things to do during these brief intervals:

• Catch up on emails
• Read a book or the latest news
• Jot down notes or brainstorm article ideas
• Organize groceries or tackle other mundane tasks

I don’t subscribe to the hyper-productive culture, but I believe that waiting can be an opportunity for productivity. Utilizing dead time means I’m making room for other activities. If I can accomplish tasks while waiting, I essentially gain extra time that I can spend with family, take a walk, hit the gym, or even enjoy a series. It’s free time that wouldn’t have existed otherwise—why not make the most of it?

Others, however, may disagree, as they choose to immerse themselves in the moment. While waiting for their dental check-up, they might pick up a magazine from the table, explore the decor, or strike up a conversation with a fellow patient about their dental woes. I used to find such behavior irritating, but now I question whether I might be the one annoying them. Embracing the present moment can be a beautiful way to enjoy our time.

“Time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time.”

• Marthe Troly-Curtin

Are we wasting time, or are we making the most of it? The answers vary as widely as the individuals themselves. There’s no definitive right or wrong; it’s about what suits us best. I’ve been quick to judge others for how they handle downtime, but perhaps I’m the one who deserves scrutiny.

Those TikTok videos and spontaneous chats might seem trivial to me, yet for someone else, they could represent a meaningful use of time. Ultimately, we determine how we utilize our time.

The question lingers: Are we defined by how we spend our time? If we accept that time is perceived differently, we must also acknowledge that the value and manner of spending it will differ from one person to another.

Time is impartial—it’s the same for everyone, yet we don’t all treat it the same way. It’s unfortunate; we all possess immense potential, yet some actively pursue their dreams while others seem to chase illusions. Judging this behavior may be unfair, as what constitutes wasted time for one person might be valuable moments of care, wellness, and enjoyment for another.

“Time is free, but it’s priceless. You can’t own it, but you can use it. You can’t keep it, but you can spend it. Once you’ve lost it, you can never get it back.”

• Harvey MacKay

Our relationship with time can align with our individual perceptions. While this is subjective, it resonates with my earlier reflections.

We share the same amount of time, but our experiences and choices in spending it can differ greatly. How we later reflect on that time will also vary—did we squander it or utilize it wisely?

I want to extend my gratitude to my friend Henrik Hageland for inspiring this discussion. You can find his insights on time and waiting below:

Waiting — Annoying or a Moment of Peace?

A few thoughts on waiting and to get the best of it!

If you found this article engaging, you might also enjoy the following:

Midnight: Thinking Out Loud

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