Where has “being yourself” led you?

So, what has “being yourself” achieved for you? Are you genuinely happy with your current situation, or is it time to make your present circumstances justify your aspirations? Perhaps you’ve grown too comfortable in your current state.

I have penned numerous articles on the theme of change (you can find them here, here, here, and here), and the first crucial step is to acknowledge that change is indeed feasible. There are countless examples of individuals who have transformed their lives; dismissing this possibility would be unwise.

Now that we’ve established that, the subsequent step involves feeling unsettled about your current self. As Tony Robbins wisely stated, “Something that is undisturbed won’t move.”

You might have become so accustomed to your discontent that the thought of change feels unnecessary. If you love yourself as you are too deeply, the incentive to change may diminish.

While you might prefer to remain in your comfort zone, I certainly did not.

“Our dilemma is that we hate change and love it at the same time; what we really want is for things to remain the same but get better.” —Sydney J. Harris

You cannot simultaneously love your current situation and strive for something greater. In order to pursue growth, your current self must be acknowledged as a stepping stone, not a final destination.

Accepting where you are is essential, and recognizing that your present circumstances are a reflection of your current self is vital. Ultimately, you hold the responsibility—what steps will you take to improve?

Clarifying the Message: Love Yourself with Conditions

Let me clarify: I’m not suggesting that you shouldn’t love yourself. Embracing self-love does not preclude recognizing aspects of yourself that you wish to change. In fact, if your love for yourself is genuine, it should motivate you to seek improvement.

Do you care for yourself enough to pursue the best version of you? Are you willing to embrace the discomfort that change often entails? The journey toward a “new you” demands the sacrifice of the “old you.”

So, while I’m not advocating for a lack of self-love, I assert that genuine self-love includes a desire for change. Perhaps this is why some struggle to evolve; it's a complex topic for another discussion.

Furthermore, I am not arguing against authenticity. In fact, I recently wrote about how being genuine is crucial for success in writing on platforms like Medium.

If you aspire to “be yourself,” align your actions with the vision of your future self. That’s how you achieve success.

“A lot of people can live with themselves. A lot of people can live with themselves, look in the mirror, and say ‘I’m okay with being afraid’. You have to first be uncomfortable with how you feel about yourself.” —David Goggins

It’s perfectly acceptable if you don’t love every aspect of yourself at this moment. Who insists that you must? Who claims that every facet of your being is worthy of unconditional love?

The truth is, you do love yourself, especially during times when it feels like you’re in conflict with your current self. This awareness demonstrates that you recognize the need for change—acknowledging that you may not deserve unqualified love at this stage.

Without a standard that proclaims “This is not okay. I need to change,” personal growth is nearly impossible.

Thus, while I could join the chorus advocating for complete authenticity and unconditional self-love, I believe you are capable of much more.