Chapter 1: My Background and Initial Skepticism

I grew up in a Buddhist family, where my father encouraged us to explore whichever faith resonated with us. As a result, I identified as an atheist—though that’s a humorous exaggeration. I remained a Buddhist but often questioned the purpose of prayer. It seemed to serve no tangible benefit, and I attributed my achievements to my hard work, which gave me a sense of control—until I left home for college.

During my first two weeks away, I found myself crying nightly, missing my family, especially my sister, with whom I had shared my room. While I had a pleasant roommate, her new relationship only intensified my feelings of isolation. The warmth of my parents' farewell hugs made the loneliness even more palpable.

Not accustomed to sleeping alone (which felt rather embarrassing at 17), I often recalled scary movies, and those dark, rainy nights heightened my fears. Even though I didn’t believe in ghosts during daylight, the shadows and sounds in my dorm would startle me. Soon, I began experiencing nightmares and sleep paralysis, which stemmed from my anxiety. On some nights, I would stay on video calls with my siblings until I drifted off to sleep. When I shared my struggles with my dad, he suggested I pray before bed. Initially, I found this amusing, but after waking from nightmares drenched in sweat, I found comfort in prayer, which helped me relax enough to fall asleep. During episodes of sleep paralysis, praying provided a sense of calm that allowed me to wake myself up from the terrifying dreams. Was prayer keeping the imagined demons at bay? I couldn't say for certain, but it undeniably brought me relief.

Despite the challenges in demonstrating the benefits of prayer, skepticism within the scientific community only added to my apprehension. I felt embarrassed to admit that I turned to prayer, as I lacked scientific evidence to support my actions—definitely not something I wanted to share openly. Thus, I became a "closet believer," a term I've coined for those who pray in secret. Throughout my college journey, prayer became my refuge during high-stress moments, like looming deadlines, presentations, and exams, providing me with a momentary calm that allowed me to regain my composure.

Now, as an adult, I still find solace in prayer during overwhelming moments. I don't believe prayers were created merely out of boredom; rather, they were likely intended to fulfill a significant need. While the efficacy of prayer has been questioned in various studies, what matters to me is that it provides a similar effect to meditation.

Additionally, prayer is free in a world where even breathing can come at a cost. I would prefer to lean on an imaginary, possibly non-existent force than succumb to feelings of hopelessness. So, the next time you feel overwhelmed in this rapidly changing world, why not give prayer a try?

The first video titled "Why Believing in Your Prayers Changes Everything!" explores how faith can transform our experiences and perspectives, further highlighting the potential power of prayer in our lives.

Chapter 2: The Struggles of Faith and the Quest for Answers

The second video, "Why Didn't God Answer My Prayer?" delves into the complexities and challenges of faith, addressing the common question many face when prayers seem unanswered.