Chapter 1: The Roots of My Horror Obsession

“Do you enjoy horror movies?” This question came up when I mentioned to some old friends that I now critique horror films for a podcast and YouTube channel. My newer acquaintances and colleagues weren't surprised; they know me as the goth girl with a penchant for the macabre. But those who knew me back in the day seemed taken aback.

This led me to ponder: why the surprise? I’ve always had a soft spot for scary films. From the time I could crawl and indulge in candy, Halloween has been my favorite celebration. So, what’s the deal? How long have I truly been a horror aficionado? While I haven't viewed every classic horror film—there are still many on my watchlist—I feel a deep-rooted passion for the genre that has persisted.

An intriguing post I encountered on social media resonated with me: "The things you cherished at 13 often resurface in your 30s." Reflecting on this, I recalled how, as a young teenager, I adored Halloween, anything eerie, playing The Sims, and writing. Fast forward to my current life at 32, and I find myself still watching horror films, enthusiastically preparing for Halloween, playing The Sims, and writing. Quite fascinating, isn’t it?

But it begs the question: why haven’t I seen more horror films if my love for them is so profound? I distinctly remember my mother and I watching Alien and Predator during my childhood, perhaps too young for such content. I also recall enjoying Scream and Halloween as the spooky season approached. While I have experienced some iconic films, there are still countless titles I’ve missed. The realization finally dawned on me: I was sheltered and heavily influenced by others' opinions.

Isn’t that always the case? The stigma, the anxiety of not fitting in, those harsh words that linger long after they’re spoken.

As a pre-teen, I yearned for Halloween to last all year. Each October, I donned a witch or vampire costume, wishing to transform into a witch like Marnie from Halloweentown. I loved Halloween more than anyone around me. At 13, I convinced my parents to host a Halloween sleepover where we went trick-or-treating and indulged in candy. That evening, I pleaded with them to let us watch a genuine horror film, not just the light-hearted Disney fare. They agreed to show us The Birds, which was utterly frightening but ignited my interest in horror.

Transitioning from my teenage years into my twenties, I was deeply immersed in a phase of self-discovery. I explored various avenues, from acting to hosting a dating podcast and even stand-up comedy. Unfortunately, I often molded my preferences based on my boyfriends, particularly my college partner, who wasn’t a fan of horror. Living together with just one television meant I ended up watching Marvel movies instead.

My high school boyfriend once remarked that people watch horror films because their lives lack excitement. This was his retort to my persistent requests to watch horror, and perhaps he was just frustrated. Regardless, his words echoed every time I yearned for a scary flick—was my life really that dull? Should I pursue something else instead?

Ah, my thirties. This decade has been a mix of frustration and liberation. While I grapple with my physical limitations (if you’re over 30, you understand), I’ve also embraced the freedom of thinking, “I don’t care what others think, I’m 32.”

It feels like reaching this stage of life has helped me recognize certain unchangeable aspects of my personality. The notion that “it’s just a phase,” which parents often tell their children, doesn’t apply here. I genuinely love Halloween and horror films. Oh, and I’m attracted to both boys and girls. Thank you for the doubts, but I’m owning who I am.

While I previously allowed others’ opinions to dictate my choices, I now strive to resist that influence—after all, I’m still human at 32. Nowadays, I make an effort to fend off judgment. In my current relationship, my boyfriend and I wholeheartedly support each other’s interests and hobbies. We watch horror films at any time, regardless of the season. It's a wonderful feeling when your partner appreciates your passions, isn’t it?

Now, as I embrace my adoration for horror films, I’ve launched a YouTube channel where I can share my enthusiasm with the horror community. I’m free to be myself, unbothered by others’ opinions or judgments.

Chapter 2: Embracing My Passion for Horror

The first video, "Old Spice | The Man Your Man Could Smell Like," humorously contrasts traditional masculinity with modern self-expression, showcasing a light-hearted take on confidence and identity.

In the second video, "The Man Your Man Could Smell Like," the comedic approach continues, emphasizing the importance of self-awareness and authenticity in a playful manner.