Chapter 1: The Journey Begins

After enduring yet another painful cycle of relapses, I sought guidance from my sponsor to identify where my recovery efforts were faltering.

Before diving into our discussion, my sponsor posed several questions about my actions leading to my recent relapse.

“Did you attend last week’s meeting? Did you make your amends?” he asked.

With enthusiasm, I affirmed both points.

“Did you experience any resentments? Or were you hungry, angry, lonely, or tired (H.A.L.T.)?”

I nodded, my head bowed in acknowledgment of all four.

“Well, there you have it,” he said with a smile.

Convinced that I had pinpointed my errors, I left his home determined to make changes. The following week, I worked on my resentments, attended meetings, engaged in service, maintained a healthy diet, slept well, spent quality time with family, and even stayed at a friend's countryside home. However, upon returning home Sunday night, I unfortunately relapsed later that evening.

The Mind's Illusions

“The mind is inherently designed to persuade us that its perspective is the only valid interpretation of reality.” ~ Dr. David R Hawkins, Power vs Force.

Addicts come in various forms, each navigating their unique journey through the complex spectrum of addiction. Generalizing all addicts and prescribing identical reasons for their relapses is not only dangerous but also fails to acknowledge the struggles of those who feel hopeless.

Chronic relapsers may grapple with resentments, H.A.L.T., and insufficient meetings or prayers, yet they may not be genuinely powerless. They possess the ability to engage in these activities to maintain sobriety. While I wish them luck, they aren’t in the same category as those who feel utterly hopeless.

For those who experience chronic relapses, relying on willpower, relapse prevention techniques, and trigger avoidance offers only a false sense of control, often merely postponing the inevitable.

You Can't Think Your Way Out of Addiction

“Your true essence is that of boundless spirit. The feeling of limitation is a construct of the mind.” ~ Ramana Maharshi.

Gaining further insight into why chronic relapsers struggle won't resolve the issue. This is because, at times, they lack access to common sense, logical thinking, or even memory. A mental phenomenon occurs, and while we cannot pinpoint its nature, we can objectively recognize that the repercussions of relapse seem absent when they matter most.

Chronic relapsers may hold a persistent, delusional belief that relapsing is acceptable, regardless of the evident dangers. Their mental state is compromised, indicating that the answer to chronic relapse cannot be found solely in rational thought. Instead, we must seek a higher level of understanding.

But how do we achieve this?

The answer lies within.

Chapter 2: Discovering Inner Strength

“In the heart of winter, I discovered an invincible summer within me. This realization brings me joy, for it assures me that no matter how much the world pushes against me, there's a stronger force within.” ~ Albert Camus.

I relinquished my preconceived notions about recovery, including the need to control my life and its outcomes. I realized that powerlessness truly meant being powerless. A thought crossed my mind: what if deep within us, our true essence remains untouched by addiction and life’s challenges? What if this essence possesses the strength to guide me toward wellness, provided I keep my ego at bay?

To embrace this possibility, I needed to trust in its validity, which required genuine faith—real faith.

The answer I sought involved elevating my consciousness regarding the issue of relapse, moving beyond mere reasoning to a realm of faith.

But how does one cultivate faith? A tangible, practical faith?

It begins with a concept.

The Invisible Force

“Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.” ~ Hebrews 11:1.

To foster any form of working faith, we need a foundational concept—something greater than ourselves that we can embrace to leap into faith.

However, one must be open to discarding any biases to make room for new ideas. Reflect on these questions:

What does the broader reality of life mean to you?

Is there a God or higher power, or is it merely the human spirit, as suggested by psychologist Carl Jung?

Could it be the higher self emphasized in Eastern religions or the true self recognized in modern psychology?

Explore what resonates with you at a deeper level. Keep it straightforward and personal. Discard conflicting notions. Investigate anything that speaks to your heart.

But we must avoid blind faith; we need to experience our faith. Whatever we profess to believe must be put into practice. We must embody it, showing up in our lives regardless of the circumstances, lest we become self-deceived agnostics.

Reflect on past mystical occurrences, such as answered prayers, synchronistic events, or fortunate moments. Acknowledge any evidence of what you once believed, both in the past and present. This recognition can spark momentum.

“What once seemed a fragile reed has proven to be the loving and powerful hand of God. A new life has been bestowed upon us or, if you prefer, ‘a design for living’ that genuinely works.” ~ The Big Book, page 28.

The power lies in your conscious choice; the decision is yours, but you must make it, for the help you seek will stem from your relationship with this concept.

Seeking and trusting in this concept will grant you the consciousness and courage to break free from addiction for good, enabling you to leap into faith.

When Reality Meets Faith

“Faith is a living, daring confidence in God’s grace, so assured that one could stake their life on it over and over.” ~ Martin Luther King Jr.

After my last relapse, I relinquished all my former beliefs. I allowed circumstances to unfold as they may. I recognized my powerlessness in the face of relapse, knowing it was futile to resist. I was genuinely prepared to place my faith in something more powerful than myself and make that belief a tangible reality.

I realized that all the pain I had endured served a purpose. The universe had a plan for me; everything that transpired had a greater good and divine rationale behind it. I resolved to act and behave as if these statements were true.

Transformation occurs when your mind, perceiving your faith-based choices, believes in their validity, as you witness evidence of faith-driven decisions working for others facing similar challenges.

This willingness to believe and have faith in my concept altered everything. I never returned to addiction.

Final Reflection

“Significant shifts in consciousness often follow the surrender of the illusion that ‘I know.’” ~ Dr. David R Hawkins.

Recovery entails deflating the ego profoundly and elevating consciousness. It involves stepping out of self-reliance and prioritizing others, trusting that you will be alright because of your faith.

When these elements combine with action and trust in the process, everything changes. Previously insurmountable problems become manageable; unexpected support and help arrive. Insights and intuition become commonplace, revealing opportunities and endless possibilities.

Living with faith means embracing real courage and love amidst uncertainty and adversity. Regardless of what transpires, you believe that everything will be alright, guiding you toward the peace you have long sought.

One day, you will look back and realize that your life has been transformed, all thanks to the faith you preserved and cherished.

The first video, "Doing the 12-Steps without Faith in God?" explores how faith plays a crucial role in the recovery journey.

The second video, "Just for Today - March 3rd: Facing Temptations with Faith in Recovery," discusses how faith can empower individuals to confront challenges during recovery.