Chapter 1: Standing Up for Yourself

Life has a way of throwing us into unexpected and often frustrating situations. You may find yourself questioning whether it’s your misfortune or someone else’s biases that have landed you in the uncomfortable spot. The question arises: how can you assert yourself in these moments, and which scenarios truly warrant speaking out?

In this piece, I aim to motivate those who tend to absorb negativity and shy away from confrontation. Certain instances, such as public humiliation, unwarranted rudeness, false allegations, or when someone takes credit for your hard work, justify standing up for yourself.

Let me recount a recent event where I had to confront such a situation.

My partner and I visited a trendy restaurant we were eager to try. To our dismay, the service was far from satisfactory. After giving our phone numbers to be added to the waiting list, we waited an hour only to be told by the host that we had missed a call. However, our call logs showed no such missed call or text. Instead of accommodating us after realizing the mix-up, they simply placed us at the end of the line behind ten additional guests who had arrived after us.

We were baffled by our inability to secure a seat. After another twenty minutes, we checked in again, only to find out there were still six parties ahead of us, all of whom had come in later.

Our frustration reached a peak, prompting us to ask for a manager. Unfortunately, the manager was dismissive and unhelpful. Ultimately, we left without ever being seated. Reflecting on this, I wondered what had gone wrong. Was it a simple mistake, a mood issue, or something more personal?

In the past, I might have let this incident fester in my mind for days. However, I chose to approach the situation with newfound confidence. It took time, but I learned how to advocate for myself effectively.

I decided to write a comprehensive review of our experience, detailing how we had been treated by both the host and manager. I sent this feedback directly to the restaurant's corporate email, hoping it would reach someone other than the indifferent manager.

To my surprise, my message caught the attention of the bistro's owner, who called a few days later to apologize for the staff's behavior. It turned out that this was not the first complaint about that manager. He assured us that the issue would be addressed and invited us back as his guests, complimentary.

Our conversation left me feeling impressed. The owner exemplified good business practice by gathering information and transforming a negative experience into a positive one.

We can easily waste time speculating on why we were treated poorly—was it an error or bias? Ultimately, these assumptions are irrelevant. What matters is that we received subpar service, and we were justified in advocating for ourselves.

By responding thoughtfully and calmly, we can collectively foster change as individuals.

Chapter 2: The Power of Clarity in Communication

Life Isn't Fair but Neither is Favor - This video discusses the importance of self-advocacy in the face of life’s inequities, highlighting how to navigate unfair situations.

Life Isn't Fair - This video explores the reality of unfairness and offers insights on how to maintain resilience and advocate for oneself.