Chapter 1: The Reality of Friendships in Business

A client recently posed a thought-provoking question: Can friendships truly exist within the realm of business? This inquiry resonates because as we network, some relationships deepen while others falter, often leading to poor decisions.

While I believe that friendships can flourish in a business setting, we must recognize that these bonds may evolve or dissolve as circumstances shift within the business landscape. When challenges arise, individuals often prioritize their own interests, sometimes at the expense of valued relationships.

Reflecting on past experiences, many of us can recall instances where someone prioritized their needs, causing harm to others. This leaves us with a crucial decision: do we continue the relationship, or do we part ways?

Currently, I find myself grappling with this very dilemma. The situation took me by surprise, and in hindsight, I should have anticipated it. The common adage, "It's not personal; it's business," is one I firmly disagree with. This phrase is frequently used to rationalize unjust actions. The truth is, business interactions are inherently personal, as they involve people.

In 2008, I faced redundancy—a decision that, while labeled as 'business-related,' felt deeply personal. The emotional impact was profound, not only for me but also for nearly a thousand others affected.

How we navigate these challenges reveals our core values and integrity. Our reactions can influence our peace of mind regarding the actions taken and words spoken.

Difficult conversations are sometimes necessary, and those who care must accept the repercussions of such discussions. This is why I strive to practice gratitude—not just on good days, but especially during tough times when I feel overwhelmed or hurt by others.

Not long ago, a business associate I considered a friend deeply disappointed me. The emotional fallout was significant, leaving me in tears. To clarify, this was not a client relationship, but rather a partnership with financial stakes for both of us.

I had faith in this individual, who has since acknowledged their leadership in our decisions. However, that acknowledgment does little to alleviate my burden. Changes in their business, unrelated to me, led them to abandon our original agreement. They communicated their struggles, but failed to clarify their inability to uphold their financial commitment.

This person expressed a desire to avoid the stress of finding a replacement, effectively shifting that responsibility onto me, with no intention of assisting me in managing this unexpected load. Their guilt-laden dialogue, citing family struggles, fell flat for me, as I too have my own financial obligations.

What have I taken away from this experience? It reaffirms my belief that when faced with adversity, individuals will often prioritize their needs. Our only control lies in how we respond to such situations.

Though I will navigate this challenge independently and experience a financial setback, I take pride in knowing I approached it with good intentions. I can find solace in my conscience.

This situation evokes memories of my twenties, when I freed myself from an abusive relationship, only to discover that my ex had taken out a loan in my name, which I had to repay alone to preserve my credit. In that instance, I accepted the cost of my freedom.

While this current situation differs greatly, I remain grateful for the friendship I once shared with this business contact. However, the trust has undeniably shifted. It serves as a reminder—regardless of familiarity, a legal agreement is essential. While it may not prevent disappointment, it provides a measure of recourse beyond mere ethical considerations.

Ultimately, this experience underscores a loss that I fear may never be reclaimed.

Exploring the complexities of starting a business with friends, this video discusses the potential pitfalls and successes that can arise from such partnerships.

This video examines how embarking on a business venture with friends can either enhance or jeopardize your overall success and well-being.