Embracing Gratitude: Lessons from the Dying and Our Regrets
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Chapter 1: Insights from a Palliative Nurse
In 2009, Bronnie Ware, an Australian palliative nurse, gained widespread attention with an essay detailing the reflections of her patients as they approached the end of their lives. According to Ware, the most common regrets expressed were:
- I wish I had the bravery to live a life true to myself, rather than one dictated by others' expectations.
- I wish I hadn’t dedicated so much time to work.
- I wish I had found the courage to share my feelings.
- I wish I had maintained closer relationships with my friends.
- I wish I had allowed myself to experience more happiness.
These regrets resonate deeply with me, and I can only imagine the sorrow I'd feel if I failed to address them while I still have the opportunity. Upon contemplating this impactful list, there's one additional regret I'd like to propose: I wish I had shown more gratitude.
Chapter 1.1: The Importance of Thankfulness
I believe I'm not alone in feeling this way. Notably, author Cheryl Strayed echoes this thought in the concluding chapter of her book, “Tiny Beautiful Things: Advice on Love and Life from Dear Sugar.” She reflects on what wisdom she would share with her younger self:
“One Christmas at the very beginning of your twenties when your mother gives you a warm coat that she saved for months to buy, don’t look at her skeptically after she tells you she thought the coat was perfect for you. Don’t hold it up and say it’s longer than you like your coats to be and too puffy and possibly even too warm. Your mother will be dead by spring. The coat will be the last gift she gave you. You will regret the small thing you didn’t say for the rest of your life. Say thank you.”
Section 1.2: Reflecting on Personal Regrets
Comedian Rob Delaney shares a similar sentiment in his memoir, recalling the profound regret he felt when he received a birthday cake crafted by his mother in the shape of his favorite band, Danzig. He writes:
“To this day when I imagine having a time machine, my FIRST stop is my thirteenth birthday where I would jump up and down with excitement and hug my mom when she reveals that cake. If there was still time left on my time travel visa, only then would I go back and kill Hitler.”
My own regret, while not as poignant as Strayed’s or as humorous as Delaney’s, still lingers in my mind. During college, I organized a dance for our class, managing everything from the venue to the DJ. A fellow dorm mate dedicated countless hours to creating decorations and managing ticket sales. While I received applause at the event, I failed to publicly acknowledge her efforts, which has troubled me ever since. I wish I could recall her name to express my gratitude properly. This experience has profoundly influenced my approach to gratitude, emphasizing the importance of recognizing those who contribute to our lives.
Chapter 2: The Power of Acknowledgment
Knowing the common regrets of those nearing the end of their lives inspires me to recognize that all these feelings are within our control. I hope we all find the strength to live according to our true values and nurture relationships that bring joy and connection. Above all, I hope we prioritize expressing gratitude and saying “thank you” more often.
The first video titled "The 5 Regrets Of The Dying: Life Lessons Everybody Learns Too Late" by Bronnie Ware offers profound insights into the common regrets faced by individuals at the end of their lives.
The second video, "Former Palliative Carer REVEALS The Regrets Of The Dying: 'This Is A Lesson Here'" by Bronnie Ware, discusses the lessons we can learn from the reflections of the dying, emphasizing the importance of gratitude and authenticity.